Who of my pals know what.

Here's a one line description of some of my friends.Recognize yourself?!

RRK - Long time accomplice. Tries to pretend to know something thinking he knows almost nothing when he actually knows something.

RK - Works for a leading electrical organization. Pretends he knows nothing when actually he knows everything. Also a jackass and a good blogger.

Chikman - Knows too much. Does not and cannot pretend otherwise. Also a complex number. Thinks ASP has too many gal friends.

SMC - Jack of all trades. Master of a few. His jokes are silent killers. Pretends like they are not.

Grease - Second in command to SMC when it comes to killer jokes.

ASP - He is the source for Reuters and BBC. Pretends he is not. Blogs well but does not boast about it. Secretly an 'uncle'. Vehemently denies it as evident in his blog.

Dumbu - Knew everything. Forgot everything. Oldest accomplice. Roamed the whole of Europe just for fun and pretends he did not. Also an unknown form of heavy metal.

DAK - Too 'rich' to be pretentious. Knows too much about Nigeria. Tried to hide the fact that he is an 'uncle'. Failed miserably.

AJ - His mommy would 'whip his arse' if he'd tried to pretend about something. Poor pretender. His name sounds cool although he pretends it is not. Too modest.

SRK - Factionist....lol. Secretly a reporter and travels frequently to Mahbubnagar to spy on underworld dons.

RD - Gooner accomplice. Both of us pretend together.

SCP - Pretends he has a booming voice and pretends he does not know it. That's true. He could put a foghorn to shame.

ST - Bwaa hahaha hahahahahaha...Hello?

BP - Gets confused with his nationality. Thermo king.

My Bro - Knows nothing. Does not pretend. Likes to stay dumb.

and finally

Me - ???

Troubleshooting your coffee maker

A few really funny pointers to why your coffee maker is troubling you -

Problem
The coffee is not brewing.
Solution
Plug it in.

Problem
The coffee maker brews only water.
Solution
Add desired amount of coffee.

Problem
The coffee is not hot.
Solution
Wait for power to be restored.

Problem
The filter basket overflows.
Solution
Place lid on the decanter.

Problem
The on light does not light up.
Solution
Plug it in or wait for power to be restored.

Problem
The coffee tastes bad.
Solution
Add correct coffee to water ratio.

Wheels up & Wheels down.

My first flight(or rather my first three succesive flights) sucked.I felt like I was being transported with 200 other people in a cage with the zoo keepers occasionaly dropping a line with something half edible.Nevertheless,we did gobble up what was served(thrown) to stop our tummies from rumbling louder than the turbofans.Oh..and the restrooms...a 5x4 square feet cell...Goddamit..even jail is better.You might think travelling first class is better...but it all boils down to the rest room queue which can make or break your day especially if you are travelling for 15-16 hours straight.The aisle is so narrow,even an anorexic person would find it difficult to navigate without bumping into other people oops animals.It reminded me of all the Nazi horrors of WWII.They think the in flight entertainment systems will be the pain killer.It aint no pain killer.Its like watching a TV through white polyethene cover after some time.The glare is so bad that its like looking at the Sun directly.Why would anyone want to hurt their eyes or ears willfully?And our hoofs hurt so bad sitting idle in an obtuse angle or trying to sleep in an acute angle.They wouldn't even let us open the windows and smell the rarefied air.
All in the guise of economy.

No work & all play!

Well,now that it has been three months that Ive been outta work,I have started to appreciate all the free time that Ive had.Some of  the things I love doing ( or rather not doing in some cases ) -

1) Putting on weight with no one to snidely comment about it.

2)Not having to brush my teeth regularly ( its such a waste of time;I would rather wolf down another mousse o chocolat ).

3)Baths are restricted to less than five minutes per day and if it means taking the high road:then so be it!

4)Taking bath in no way means washing your hair.That is to be done only when it is a chemical hazard posing a threat to the environment.

5)Extended sessions of sleep...morning,noon & night.

6)No need to maintain any sense of personal hygiene.

7)Barely having to step out of the house and confining myself to a chair ( which is good! ).

8)Cursing the government for power cuts ( since it disturbs my sleep ).

9)Cursing everyone in my general direction.

10)Whining about everything that does or doesn't upset me ( including the newspaper and footwear ).

To sum it up,its been a wonderful three months!

  

Fools day and the day after.

April 1st 09 and April 2nd 09 for me are definitely the most significant days thus far in my life.I can say so proudly that it was on these two days that I had secured admissions in Purdue University and Cornell University respectively thereby re-igniting my dream of being an aerospace engineer.I hope to see this piece sometime in the future to remind myself of how important it is to follow your dreams since there is nothing else that can be so satisfying in doing so and ofcourse to relive all those happy moments I had with my friends and with myself in my attempt to live my dream.

Winston's Bridge

I was confounded by my brother when he asked me which was the world's most heavily used bridge.I took a few shots at the answer but got em all wrong.Here are the ones Ive guessed -

1) Sydney Harbour Bridge

One of the most amazing man made marvels regulating land and sea traffic.

It aint the one.

2) Brooklyn Bridge

Romanticized infinite number of times,could this suspension marvel be the one?Apparently no.

3) The Tower Bridge - UK

Brilliant colonial architecture and very reminiscent of the English style.

Nope.Wrong answer.

4) The Golden Gate Bridge - San Francisco

Depicted in so many movies and one of the most identifiable pictures of America,this has got to be the answer: atleast that's what I thought.

So,if it aint any one of the above,then which one is it?

Thanks to one of his college faculty,we did get to the bottom of the mystery.The winner is apparently called Winston's Bridge and this is what it looks like - 

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Quad Erat Demonstrandum.

Mano e Mano

This is how a conversation between me and the hyperbolic me(Hm) would be like -

me)So,what do you want to do in life?
Hm)I want to be geologist.
me)Yeah right.You might as well play with marbles.
Hm)But,once I perceived myself to be like Arnold.
me)Who?Arnold Somasekar?
Hm)I am gonna be a rock star.
me)Yes.You croak very well!
Hm)I actually wanted to be a Formula 1 driver!!
me)(Snort!!!)
Hm)I am going to be the president!
me)(Chortle)....(Choke)
Hm)I was thinking of being an adventurer.
me)Bwa ha ha ha ho ho..stop it.I am in splits.
Hm)Realistically,I will be in the airforce.
me)How many fingers am I holding up?
Hm)Am going to be a neurologist.
me)Do you know where your brain is?
Hm)Ill be the playmaker for Arsenal FC.
me)You can't run from point A to point B without assistance.
Hm)I can be a mathematician.
me)You can't even tell the time!!!
Hm)I am gonna be a rocket scientist.
me)Finally,look who's talking!