August 14, 2012

Point Wise

Back in high school, I vividly remember my instructors asking us to answer essay questions in the final exams 'point wise'. I hated it. Here's why we had to stick to this protocol -

1) Their train of thought was only one sentence long.
2) More then one full stop in a paragraph is like having to actually stop at a stop sign, which is annoying.
3) Any sentence with more than one difficult word is deemed unacceptable due to inherent pigheadedness.
4) English was meant to be spoken and written 'point wise'.
5) The number of points will be directly proportional to the knowledge you actually possess. A higher number will be perceived as more insightful and vice-versa.
6) Drawing figures is mandatory between a few points. Apparently reading is a strenuous task. That means random graphs which are well labeled and flow charts with arrows pointing in different directions generally indicate a linear progression of your answer: however nonsensical it may be.
7) The initial third and final third of all the points serve as prologue and epilogue.
8) A poor final third may not dash your answer to bits but a poor prologue definitely will. Refer to point 1 for an explanation for this phenomena.
9) The higher the number of points, the better the odds of scoring high. The corollary for this is also true.

The interesting thing in this totally pointless write up is that we, as conniving students know with our infinite wisdom how to counter this 'points' scheme. Here's how -

1) Increase the font of your handwriting. Increase the spacing between each word and maintain that consistency. This will bulk up the volume of the answer. Remember the motto - more fluff, less stuff.
2) Ensure that the initial third of the points are written neatly. If you know calligraphy, use the weapon.
3) A steady regression of handwriting is ok. The farther along we are in the scheme of points, the lesser likely that it will be analyzed.
5) Skip a number. Do not over use this tactic. You will not be able to convince people that you can count only even numbers.
6) Ensure the length of your answer by writing about your little toe and how you can wiggle it independent of other toes.
7) You will be considered god-like if you can slip in the script of a movie in the answer. But beware, if caught,  you are screwed.
8) Reduce the writing area available by boxing in the page with your own margins.
And etc. etc.

Please leave your comments 'point wise'. Else, you risk your comment being ignored to oblivion.

1 comment:

Randel Prandel said...

Point 1. It reminds me of my dissertation days.

Point 2. It also reminds me of those nerve racking exams.

Point 3. The freakkin' Daggs we are, we fail to learn.

Point 4. You are welcome.